ENGLISH-+DANIEL

Communication

COMMUNICATION

Communication was made very long ago. **( Not quite sure what you meant by this sentence - remember it is your opening sentence and it should be the one that captures the audiences attention)** The first form of communication was sound then voice then they invented electricity now they have cameras on computers.

In the 21 centuries people don’t use pigeons and wall set telephones. Now we have more advanced technology 3d TV

Alexander Graham bell created the telephone with his assistant called Tomas Watson in 1875.people these days don’t use the first telephone. Now we use house phones and held phones.

Now people can get things over the Internet. In the 1800 if you needed a horse you can’t by ( buy) it of eBay because it was not made.

Writing is very important in every ones life. If some one told you to write a 5-paragraph story and you can’t write it will be hard.

The paper is very important .it 130 ad the chines army invented it. ** (Daniel this sentence does not make sense) **

The communication of smoke signals

The smoke signal is one of the oldest forms of communication in recorded history. It is a form of visual communication used over long distances. ** (Great introductory sentence Daniel) **

In Ancient China, soldiers stationed along the Great Wall would alert each other of impending enemy attack by signaling from tower to tower. In this way, they were able to transmit a message as far away as 480 km (300 miles) in just a few hours. ** (Effective and relevant supporting details - well done) **

The North American Indians also communicated with smoke signal. Each tribe had their own signaling system and understanding. A signaler started a fire using damp grass, which would cause a column of smoke to rise. The grass would be taken off as it dried and another bundle would be placed on the fire. The location of the smoke along the incline conveyed a meaning. If it came from half way up the hill, this would signify all was well, but from the top of the hill it would signify danger.


 * Daniel you have included some relevant and factual information in your information report. **
 * You have included some great topic sentences and supporting details. **
 * You have not grouped your ideas into paragraphs consistently. **
 * Where are your "draws" filled with information that goes together? **
 * Where is your conclusion? **
 * Have you self edited your work? **
 * Perhaps next time you could write more paragraphs that begin with an interesting and relevant topic sentence followed by relevant supporting details. **


 * Mrs W **


 * EXPOSITION WRITING **
 * CHILDREN SHOULD BE GIVEN POCKET MONEY REGARDLESS OF THEIR ATTITUDE OR BEHAVIOUR. **

i think that $20 is a great amount for kids

If you go to a arcade and the game is only coins you can ask mum or dad for some coins and give them a note.kids that have no brother or sister they can go to Vidio easy or Eb games and and by a game.When its raining and have nothing to do you can play the games you have. most kids have brothers and sisters you can play 2 players or if u have a game like I toy there is up to 4 players.

$20 is a lot of money for kids to by toys,games and more kids love to have fun and if you don't have brothers or sisters they can become loners. more money means more fun (fun) fun is were kids enjoy what there doing as in the boy is having fun.when kids are having fun the parents dont get annoyed at angry.

if kids start to save up there money now they can earn a nice house,good cars a nice t.v and a good life if u love to live in queensland and if you wasted all your saved money your job will help you.when you get a drivers licence you can get a nice car.

this is why i think that $20 is a great amount for kids regardless of behaver Daniel.

I believe that Bart is not a positive role model because he doesn't care about his family or the law and other rules
 * TITLE - WHAT TITLE ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE YOUR EXPOSITION. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE ABOUT ||
 * TITLE - Why Bart Simpson is not a positive role model ||
 * INTRODUCTION - TELL THE READER WHAT YOUR OPINION IS

SOME INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR TOPIC **.**

**Bart is not a positive role model because he treats Milhouse and his other friends badly. In a few episodes he treats his friends like dirt and doesnt care about them.** || I BELIEVE None of the Simpson family respect Flanders family beliefs.
 * ARGUMENT ONE
 * ARGUMENT ONE

THE REASONS I BELIEVE THIS ARE. They tease the Flanders kids and pick on them. They tease God and say that Flanders believes in a phony God.

FACT OR AN EXAMPLE TO PROVE YOUR POINT For example Homer had to drive the Flanders kids to a place and he just left them there. They are suppose to be neighbours and should help eachother out. || ** I BELIEVE THIS ** ** THE REASONS I BELIEVE THIS ARE... ** ** FACT OR AN EXAMPLE TO PROVE YOUR POINT ** || ** I BELIEVE THIS ** ** THE REASONS I BELIEVE THIS ARE... ** ** FACT OR AN EXAMPLE TO PROVE YOUR POINT ** || A LITTLE BIT OF INFORMATION ABOUT EACH POINT YOU HAVE MADE. ||
 * ARGUMENT TWO
 * ARGUMENT TWO
 * ARGUMENT THREE
 * ARGUMENT THREE
 * SUMMARY
 * SUMMARY